So they're 'changing the speed limits' and rolling one of football's baddest boys, Rio Ferdinand, out to distract us all from what is becoming the usual, despicable mayhem. What nail biting themes to end what has been a rollercoaster month.
Nothing like that to take our gaze from two frankly ignorable party conferences, some post-riot coverage and the still endless expenses to clean up.
So what have a lad from Warrington, The City, an MP and a millionaire's daughter got in common of late? It's not often my hometown and The City would trend on Twitter together.
Give up? All been have been in the news for criminal activity in the last month.
So... What's worse?
a) A scally. A message on Facebook.
b) A trader. Lost £2.3 billion in the City.
c) Margaret Moran. MP. An expenses bill worth £100,000
d) Laura Johnson. Daughter of a millionaire. Accused of burglary of goods worth £5,000 from five shops during the riots.
So. What's worse?
One was given an electronic tag. And made it to the front pages with some semblance of dignity. Isn't she pretty?
One of them is gleaning pity on the front-page of the nationals.
One is too early to tell.
"Perry Sutcliffe-Keenan, 22, of Latchford, Warrington, used his Facebook account in the early hours of 9 August to design a web page entitled The Warrington Riots. The court was told it caused a wave of panic in the town. When he woke up the following morning with a hangover, he removed the page and apologised, saying it had been a joke. His message was distributed to 400 Facebook contacts, but no rioting broke out as a result."
And he, the one on the right, got 4 years, straight off. What he did wasn't right, but neither were any of the others. He didn't take part in a riot, the girl did. He wasn't in a position of trust or authority, Moran was. The trader was.
This is about people who feel empowered to defend themselves and those who can control their image. It is about stupidity. And reckless greed of course.